#159 - Jaded
I have, the last few weeks, noticed a huge drop in my interest for almost everything. I am not sure exactly what is causing this. But it is hugely noticeable to me.
I’m back in the Philippines. I have been trying to work on finding a relationship online [don’t know if I mentioned before but I am], I’m studying languages, helping my partners where I can for various legal paperwork, planning for the future, and cleaning my house and organizing. But these days, I am waking up in the morning, and I have interest in almost none of this.
I would not say that I am depressed. I putter around the house, I do research and other things for my partners and myself, I still read and watch TV, but… I just don’t seem to have interest in much. From talking to some people I am wondering if this is an aftereffect of COVID? But the cough finally disappeared after 10 weeks, more or less.
My boxes arrived from the US, and I unpacked them. I had bought all the hardware to set up a flight simulation computer here in the Philippines, so that I can practice for my private pilot’s license. I look at it all and… Nothing. Very little motivation to push through and get this system built for use.
I’m not particularly tired, although as is usual my energy levels are low. My working out is nowhere near as regular as it usually was before (pre-COVID). And my eating habits, while not awful, aren’t great either. I’m undergoing chelation therapy. Yeah, yeah, I know. It is for heavy metal poisoning which I don’t have but there is anecdotal evidence that it assists with coronary plaque. I figured I will try it and see. I had tests done to determine my % of blockage before I started and I will repeat the tests after the course of treatment to see if it actually did any good. Beats having stents put in or taking statins.
Even books! The books I’m reading, even old favorites, I can barely be bothered. I tend to fast forward through TV shows just to get to the end. I find the dramas stupid. Everything (ok I’m exaggerating) seems to be based on keeping secrets and lack of communication.
Before - There are rows of books even behind the kettle bells & about 450 CDs
After :-)
I have donated all my books and music CDs to schools. Last week they were gone. Huge relief. Lots of empty shelves now. Places to put work out stuff and medical kits.
I had accumulated a collection of 80+ high quality notebooks, which even if I journal everyday in them, I doubt I would be able to use them all in the next 10 years. Gifts, as a close friend suggested 😊. So far I have given away about 15 of them.
My name is Anthony and I’m a notebook addict …
Lack of interest. Low energy levels, and a constant low level of anxiety. I think the last is due to the issues with my passport issues. I made the decision to push through and get a St. Kitts & Nevis passport this year. The anxiety of having a U.S. passport is just too much. I am seeing (as of last week) some small movement on the Argentinian passport, but I wanted to hedge my bet.
The St. Kitts & Nevis is an ‘economic’ passport. You pay for it essentially. But it is a pretty good passport for a relatively low price. Pretty much anywhere in South America, Europe, Middle East, and Asia without a visa. I will not renounce my US citizenship until I get my Argentinian passport, but I really hope to have that by the end of this year or early next year.
I’ve been working a lot on my will. Not that I’m expecting anything to happen but really to leave adequate instructions for my executors to be able to access my accounts. It’s complicated. I’m not abnormal I don’t think, but between various bank accounts in different countries, apps on the phone, password managers, email accounts, my laptop … there is a lot to document in case someone happens to me. I did find that I can name people as emergency contacts to my password manager so if I go dormant for a predetermined number of days, they will be granted access to my account. I’m also going to add the fingerprints of my executors to my phone. That will really make it easier.
They just finished elections here in the Philippines. It looks like they elected the son of the former dictator (Ferdinand Marcos). Who has an arrest warrant in the U.S. 😊. But nobody has any hope that this will change the corruption here.
It looks like I will be going to Argentina soon for at least a few weeks. If that happens, I will go to Medellin afterwards for a few weeks then on to Bulgaria.
Sorry to end on such a down note. But I’ve had trouble getting this article started, let alone finished. So … let me put it up so at least people know I’m still on the globe..